How Do You Talk to Kids about Incurable Cancer and Loss?
As a dual certified child life specialist and therapist, I’m uniquely positioned to bridge the gap between clinical language and child-friendly understanding. Whether it's explaining cancer, treatment, or end-of-life concepts, our goal is to ensure kids and teens have honest, developmentally appropriate explanations that help reduce fear and confusion - a primary pillar to all Pickles Group initiatives.
At Pickles Group, our Free Family Cancer Support Kit includes clear, accessible definitions of common cancer-related terms. We use these definitions not just with families, but also with the youth and volunteers in our programming. Helping kids understand what’s happening to their parent gives them a sense of control and safety in the midst of uncertainty.
One of the most common questions we get from healthcare providers and caregivers alike is how to talk to kids not just about cancer, but also about death and dying.
Below are some of the terms we’ve defined in language that’s more digestible for kids and teens. These are particularly helpful when a parent is facing advanced stage or incurable cancer:
Hospice (Home vs. Facility)
Hospice is a special kind of care that focuses on comfort and feeling okay instead of curing someone. It can happen at home or in a place where people are cared for when they’re very sick and close to the end of life.
Legacy Building / Memory Making
This means doing special things together—like making art, writing letters, or sharing stories—so you can remember each other in meaningful ways.
Funeral / Memorial Service
A time when people come together to remember someone who died. These services can look different depending on what people believe and value, but they all help us say goodbye and celebrate that person’s life.
Cremation
A way to say goodbye to someone’s body where it is turned into a soft ash or powder that can be kept or spread in a special place.
Burial
When someone’s body is placed in the ground and a space is made where people can visit and remember them.
By using age-appropriate words, we can empower families to have the hard but necessary conversations. And with the right tools, even the most difficult topics can be approached with honesty, compassion, and connection.
We’re excited to offer our first-ever clinician webinar focused on how to talk to kids not just about cancer, but also about death and dying:
How to Prepare the Kids: Support for Oncology Care Providers of Adults with Incurable Cancer
Wednesday, August 13 at 12:00 PM (CST)
This webinar is designed to equip adult oncology providers with strategies to help parents prepare their children when curative treatments are no longer an option. It also comes at a pivotal time, as we expand our Pickles Jars program to support youth who have lost a parent to cancer or those facing specifically advanced, complex, or ongoing cancer care.
Interested in joining the webinar or getting access to our Family Cancer Support Kit?
Register for the Webinar
Get your free Family Cancer Support Kit
Kelsey Mora, a Certified Child Life Specialist and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, is Pickles Group's Chief Clinical Officer and a founding Pickles Group team member. She runs her own private practice and is also the author of The Dot Method: an interactive tool to teach kids about cancer.